If you stopped by to read this, then you are probably at a pretty low or painful point in your life and are ready for a change.
But, you don’t know where to start so you googled something like “how to transform your life,” or “making positive changes in life,” or “how to change your life.”
Been there, and done that.
The seemingly unfortunate, but really fortunate, answer is that you have to start from where you are at, which is exactly where you know you don’t want to be! “You’re at where you’re at and that’s a fact.” Or, how about this, “You’re at where you’re at and you can’t change that!”
Hey, who says that transformation has to be so serious?
Ok, so you are not exactly where you thought you would be right now. The good news is that you have finally gotten miserable enough to do something different. I know, it sucks. I was totally embarrassed to really look at my life and what a mess it was when I was ready to really take some ownership of it and change it. But, if you are searching for answers, then I’m going to tell you congratulations, you have already completed step one of your transformation.
Step 1: be miserable enough to have the DESIRE to make a change, to transform your life.
This is the step where you sort of say, omg, I give up, I can’t take it anymore, and I’m powerless over (insert whatever you feel is causing you your misery-spouse, children, parents, your crappy coworkers, events entirely out of your control, etc).
You finally realize that you can’t change your spouse, you can’t change your coworkers, etc.
You can only change you.
You finally get to the point that you realize you can’t make other people happy and it’s not their responsibility to make you happy. What a relief! Now, even if you don’t know what to do about it, somehow life just got a little bit easier.
This brings us to…
Step 2: actually DECIDE to take action to change.
Yep, the moment of truth.
Really commit to taking a step. What is that step going to be? It could be anything. The mistake most of us make is that it has to be something drastic.
I wanted to run away. Well, it would have changed my location, but it wouldn’t have made my life better, because no matter where you go, there you are. I would have created the same circumstances, just in a new location with new people.
So, I started simply.
Step 3: take ACTION — which starts to change your life.
You’ve probably heard the phrase K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, Silly. Part of my recovery from misery is to learn nice self-talk. So, that goes for you too. No calling yourself or anyone else stupid, ok? So, keep it simple, Silly.
Simple is good.
Now some people are pretty determined, and they can hover around step one for years! No, fun. I did that myself, so no judgement, it took a really, really good friend to say, “Mary, either poo or get off the pot.” That was my wake up call. I pooed, which took a pretty long time, then got off the pot. Never felt better.
Ok, so, I really like stories, they help me understand things, and Jesus used them, so maybe it’s a good idea. Here’s a story that I think demonstrates what these steps might look like.
Once there was a little boy, just a little over a year old, whose parents were trying to get him sleep in a crib in his room. The boy wasn’t happy about it and cried and cried to get his parents to come to him. But, they didn’t. He cried some more. Still they didn’t come. Finally he stopped crying. Ah, silence. The parents looked at each other, happy that they had succeeded and he was all settled down.
The little boy had not settled into slumber, however. And the next thing the smug parents heard was the little boy exclaim, “I’m going!” followed by the pitter patter of his footsteps as he ran down the hall and into their room.
So, let’s break this down into the first three steps of transformation.
Step 1, the little boy was miserable.
He cried, nothing changed. He cried some more. Still, no change. He became more miserable. What did he do to deserve this?! Why wasn’t anyone doing anything to make him feel happy?! He was a victim-through no fault of his own, he was trapped in a crib. He DESIRED a change from his misery.
Step 2, He DECIDED to make a change.
Sometimes, silence, an appearance of calm or nothingness occurs, when actually a decision is taking place. When the kicking and screaming stops, because it’s not working anyway, and it’s time to decide what to do instead. An action plan starts to take place, even if it is only the very next step.
Step 3, Taking action.
The little boy was capable of getting himself out of the crib, he took control over what he could take control of, himself, and took action based on his abilities.
To that little boy, and to you, I say, “That’s the spirit!”
So, now what? You’re stuck in your own crib of sorts. Either by your own self-sabotage, or maybe you are a victim to someone else’s bad behavior, or circumstances out of your control. But, good news, you don’t have to stay there forever.
If you’re reading this you have probably reached step 3 already. You have
- the DESIRE
- the Decision
Now you just need to take Step 3 – Action.
What is your step 3? What is your next step? What action, no matter how big or small, are you willing to take to start to transform your life?
This is where things can get scary, because you really don’t know what life will look like after you start to change it. Have faith, and take the step. It may not be perfect, and it may not be pretty, but do it, you can do it. I have faith in you.
Take the next step right now call me today at 972-768-7200 or click the button below to…